I read the book Boundaries in Dating when I was freshly into dating the boy that became my husband. It was what we talked about on our date nights while other folks in new relationships went mini golfing. We were pretty intentional from the first moments of romance. Maybe that’s because 7 days after our first date, that boy professed his love for me and his intention to marry me. What a weirdo. Turns out, I’m into it.
Now as a grown stinking woman trying to have healthy relational interactions- especially with those around me that have NEVER had a model for healthy relationships- I’m reading the book again in community with other book readers and boundary confused friends.
It has been pretty life changing for me. It has resulted in profound peace, freedom, lightness even. I see people around me getting all worked up and it’s clear to me it’s a boundary issue….they aren’t so keen on finding out about their issues, but that’s not my issue!!!
I saw my kids reacting to uncomfortable situations by slinging shame at each other. I knew they had learned that from me. I had to find a better way of managing my discomfort, identifying why I’m upset, define what I need, communicate it, and follow through on what I’ve said.
My disappointment in seeing myself, my brokeness, replicated in my children was a motivation. Now that I’ve learned some new skills with this life changing book, I’m hoping those will be replicated in the little people around me.
I’m so thankful I’m a work in progress.
2 thoughts on “Turning 40 27/40”
Ok so I’m intrigued- are reading an actual book and doing a workbook or just doing a workbook?
I read the book with 6 others and we met almost weekly to talk the chapters- where we were winning & losing, where we wanted to put energy & where we were going to keep ignoring. It’s been incredible. The book says several times that implementing boundaries is to be done in a supportive community and not as a solo sport. A friend is doing the workbook. I did not.