Everything is breaking

A few weeks ago our hot water heater leaked its many gallons all over our basement laundry room, an ocean of cold showers ahead. That was on the heels of our water pipes leaking all over the laundry room. The plumber was in fixing things 3 times and we got to buy a new water heater that month. That was fun.

Last week our dishwasher died. Just the start button, so we could replace that panel, and the computer, and with the installation- for about the same price of a new dishwasher. We are handwashing every dish.

Yesterday the dryer stopped spinning. We could run about a dozen loads of laundry each week. I’m on the verge of asking the kids to only wash their underwear. Possibly the athletic clothes too.

Our teenage foster daughter was home for the weekend from residential treatment for the first time in 3 months. It was full of relational strife. So much so, that we had to cancel her following visit until we could sort things out in family therapy and find a better way.

We are doing some big work, reintegrating a 17 year old girl into our home that has only known us for a year and a half, a third of which was spent in treatment. I am aspiring to double the size of my business this year while continuing to grow strong children. My husband is raising millions of dollars in venture capital for his startup while his co-founder is on maternity leave.

Years ago we were compelled by what we thought were divinely inspired visions about business and family. This year we are doing the work, lots of work, thankless work, still pursuing those visions. Some moments are ludicrously full of brokenness. Literally. So many appliances. Broken systems. Broken people. Broken hearts.

It is in the too-much-brokenness I need reminded of what we are doing here.

A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm

Ephesians 6:10-13 NLV

I will practice-

  • Being strong
  • Relying on God’s mighty power
  • Armoring Up
  • Remembering this is a different kind of fight
  • Did you get it? ARMOR UP!
  • Standing firm. Remaining.

Because the telling part of all this drama and brokenness, is that I have peace. So much peace. I am annoyed by the noise. I would like to spend my time moving our family forward instead of having to remain in place. But, I am standing firm and I have so much peace that the brokenness of this moment is the clattering of sword and armor as I engage in the fight that isn’t flesh and blood. With a peace that washes away any anxiety and pushes out my worry.

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